The last 3 years have been the hardest since we started Believer's Bridge in 2007. In 2007 we lived in a nice comfortable HUGE house, Bill had a regular job and began working on the ministry. We had financial "security" (or at least the perception of it) and didn't realize how easy life really was compared to thousands across this planet.
Our home in AL (yes, all of it).
Then in July 2010, after our initial research trip to Brazil, Bill was let go of his job and we were thrust into raising funds for our ministry and ourselves full-time. Even then God was preparing/cushioning the way.
We had bought our 200 sq foot RV sometime before the whole event. Used mainly as a means to vacation ($18-24 a night is SO much cheaper than staying at a hotel! Free if you can stay at a Walmart or other stop), we then toyed with the idea of using it to travel across the United States making people aware of Believer's Bridge and raising financial support.
I realize now that the little light bulb that goes off in one's head doesn't shed light on all the details of what one's ideas entails.
If I had known I would spend hours on the road, confronting broken down engines, popped tires, sometimes sleepless nights due to either cold or heat when your heater/AC doesn't work, showers in a space of about 3 sq. feet (and having to turn it on and off to save water while one showers), I may have decided to stay home in the warmth and comfort of a real bed, the use of a washer and dryer at any time, and the use of a real oven. Warm continuous showers are probably a huge plus as well.
But one doesn't know these things when one signs on to become a missionary (or a peace corp or military personnel for that matter). Oh, you might read about the hardships, but actually living it is entirely different.
" “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” " Jesus said.
Or another passages He says, "He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” "
Looking back I can relate to Jesus. But also know, I don't think any of us will ever fully understand while in our physical bodies the kind of agony of decision Jesus went through. I never once have sweat drops of blood while going through a stressful decision or event.
What I have been learning is to surrender my will. One. painful. step. at. a. time.
I believe this Easter I will have more understanding of that moment when Jesus agonized and fought with his physical nature to surrender it all to God, the Father, so that we could live in eternity with God without pain or torture in hell.
It is an amazing and eye opening moment when you can better understand an event when you yourself have agonized with your flesh to rule over it so that your will is not done but God's.
God tells Cain this very thing:
" "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” "
Jesus' death on the cross is salvation from life in hell due to the sin that entered the world. Accepting this truth and believing it gives anyone a deposit for eternity. But our living here on earth requires us to battle the sin that crouches at our door.
Not my will but Yours be done. How do you live that? Find the answers in God's manual, the Bible.
Wishing you an Easter full of understanding and hope!
The Message - Isaiah 53:11-12
"Out of that terrible travail of soul,
he’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
will make many “righteous ones,”
as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I’ll reward him extravagantly—
the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn’t flinch,
because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
he took up the cause of all the black sheep."
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